Blogging Is Dead - The Only Blogging Guide You’ll Ever Need

How to avoid starting another worthless blog without sacrificing your desire to start a new worthless blog. Yep.

There’s only two reasons to start a new blog. To either practice writing or market a business. That’s it. If you’re not interested in getting better at writing or don’t have an actual business to market, then you have no business adding more pollution to the already over-polluted inner web online.

To Practice Writing

Writers get paid to write. If someone isn’t giving you money in exchange for words you compose, then you’re not a writer. You’re a whatever, a jackass throwing more trash on a giant trash pile. Which is fine, and it shouldn’t stop you from wanting to hone your writing skills so that someday, maybe, you’ll get paid to write.

Blogging is an excellent choice to practice. Consider it a playground where you can try whatever you want without worrying too much about quality. You want to write sci-fi horror romance? Go for it. Journalistic hit pieces against politicians you hate? Cheap, but Ok. Ridiculously detailed articles about your favorite hobby where you weave in your crazy thoughts about aliens and shit? Yes, do it.

If you take blogging this way seriously, as if you were getting paid to write, it will help you build the habits necessary to graduate to the next level. Typically, this means writing on a schedule, under a deadline, even if it’s self imposed. Writers who get paid publish at regular, reliable intervals. If this is something you can’t do, or refuse to do, then you’re going to have a tougher time getting people to give a shit about your work. Out of sight, out of mind.

To Market A Business

First of all, a blog is not a business. I feel like that needs repeating, in all caps. A BLOG IS NOT A BUSINESS.

If you held this delusion, you’re welcome. I just saved you some goddamn money. Subscribe to this newsletter. I’m full of money saving tips.

A blog can be used as a marketing tool for a real business. You can play the SEO game, create “useful” content to attract eyeballs to your products or services or whatever it is the fuck you sell. But the words, the posts, the blog itself is not ever going to make you a dime.

These are the blogs Google likes. Probably because it makes them money. Because people who run these types of blogs might also advertise with them. And use their other services, like business email, cloud computing, whatever. So of course they favor these types of sites.

If you’re going this route, you’ll need some SEO skills, which, for the most part, are guesses. There’s an entire industry built around so-called “experts” touting their methods for ranking in Google. 

You’re going to need to invest a lot of time in creating “useful” content that Google approves of, or rather, what Google’s algorithms approve of. And guess who’s in charge of those algorithms? Google. And guess who decides when the algorithm needs to change? Google. And guess who doesn’t give two fucks if changes to their algorithm sink your business? Fucking Google.

This isn’t meant to discourage you. It’s meant to tamp down your expectations. Because everyone and their dog are competing for that top spot for whatever search terms you can think of. And if you’re not prepared to go beyond what that top ranking is already doing, then you’re fucked. 

In other words, if you’re not willing to pump out content that fits Google’s expectations and is better than what Google already likes, then don’t bother. This is a soulless journey focused squarely on feeding the Google machine the content it craves to keep its business afloat. 

And if you do choose to enter these waters, you better have a strategy for un-handcuffing your business from Google. Because if you do manage to get to the top and beat everyone else out, that traffic, those eyeballs, are not yours. Their Google’s. Guess who can change their mind about the quality of your high ranking content? Yep, Google.

It’s a cutthroat game, so be willing to be a cutthroat player. And know when to quit while you’re ahead.

If You Still Insist…

Learn how to write. Not just copy writing, but long form, journalistic and/or literary style. And write like a real person, not like someone who’s about to have a major diarrheal blowout in their pants.

“Everybody knows this, too.

Stories connect.

So, the real question is…

HOW DO YOU DO IT?” - actual content from a popular blog

Just, don’t. Please stop polluting the inner web with single sentence paragraphs like this crap.

Set a publishing schedule, and stick with it. Pros produce on a regular. Consistent, reliable writing will take you far. If you can’t do this, then don’t even try.

Commit to it for at least a year. Then reevaluate. Quitting too soon may leave you wondering. Unless you absolutely hate it every step of the way.

Start multiple blogs, each doing something you think you’ll like (if you’re uncertain). See which one sticks. Don’t be afraid to go crazy. You never know which will work for you. Stay away from dildos who advise otherwise.

Study marketing and branding. Blend these elements in with your writing without being single sentence, Selly McSellface all the time, like the penis hole above. This includes SEO, copy writing, etc. If you want to “make it,” then you’re going to need to learn how to get attention and sell your stuff. And you’ll be ahead of all the other pretentious wannabes out there who think it’s ALL about the writing.

Think about your goals. Then create a plan to reach them. How will you know when you’ve achieved them? How will you know when to exit/pivot/give up? Be specific. Create goals for 5 years from now, a year from now, this month. Then daily and/or weekly goals that will get you there.

Track your progress. You’ll appreciate this more when you look back and see the progress you’ve made. 

Develop relationships with other bloggers/writers. Not for what they can do for you, but for running ideas past them and maybe open up collaboration opportunities. A lot of writers think they can go it alone, maybe you can, but help will get you there faster and easier. And it will create more chances for luck.

Don’t be a blogger. Be a writer, thinker, a problem solver, an artist, an author, an entrepreneur, etc.